my journey to be my best self

Archive for April, 2011|Monthly archive page

rehearsal dinner: speech time

In relationships, Uncategorized on April 30, 2011 at 10:27 am

I was asked to give a speech at the rehearsal dinner.  It should be easy but what do you say about your best friend of 25 years when you have just a few minutes?  This is what I came up with:

One of the earliest memories I have of Tara is in kindergarten.  She and I were at Langley School and one day our parents received a phone call from our teacher, Mrs. Grossi explaining that Tara and I had been sneaking into the bathroom during lessons and she didn’t know what we had been doing in there.

If you must know, we were daring each other (and then another girl in our class) to show our butts.  Every day.  And at this point, I don’t even know if we ever got up the nerve to pull our pants down or not.  I just know that that was the very beginning of getting in trouble with Tara.

Tara and I have been friends for almost 25 years now. And when I told someone that we were friends from kindergarten but only continued at Langley together for one more year, first grade, she asked: “how did you remain friends?”  Good question.  I had never thought about it.  The most important thing is that we did.

Tara is not only my oldest friend, but also my best friend.  And all of you know Tara well enough to know why.  Aside from being beautiful, she is a smart and interesting woman.  She is thoughtful and considerate and makes everyone feel special.

I have been on a long journey with Tara and I am excited to be at this part of the path with her.  Every time I see Dre I am reminded how loving and caring he is (and it’s no surprise since his family is so wonderful) and it makes me really happy that Tara has found the perfect man.

This is a long way from playing with Barbie (by the way Tara had more Barbies than any one girl should have).  Barbie had a dream house, a convertible and Ken.  And at 6 years old it couldn’t get much better.  But here we are many many many years later and Tara has just one upped Barbie!  She has  Dre!

I can’t wait for Tara’s Dream Wedding in just a few more hours.


skinny jeans: good thing im a skinny bitch

In health, Uncategorized on April 25, 2011 at 2:00 am

I didn’t think the hunt for skinny jeans would ever end and I just about gave up.  I walked past the jean table while talking to my friend Daniel and said, “maybe I should try jeans.” “Why not?” answered Daniel. Well, he clearly didn’t didn’t know what he was getting himself into.

As the sales attendant turned around I thought, “Perfect. A black woman. I can tell her exactly what I learned though each step of the process and she should be able to get me one step closer to finding a flattering pair of skinny jeans for my body.” And that’s exactly what I did.  She giggled as I pointed to my waist and hips and thighs and bottom as I tried to explain how each pair I tried hugged the different parts of my body.   After an evaluation she picked out a few pairs and I went to the fitting room with 1. my trusty friend Daniel and 2. my fingers crossed.

As we waited in line I remembered when I went shopping with Laura a few weeks ago.  I literally tried on every pair of skinny jeans (1 at a time because the sales girl wouldn’t let me bring more than 1 pair in the dressing room) with absolutely no success.  Would this experience pan out any differently?

Well the size 25s didn’t fit. Damn. I yelled out of the dressing room, ” Daniel, these don’t fit.” I was already discouraged.  But I did have the 27s to try on.  “Last chance,” I said to myself.  I pulled up the jeans and buttoned them and then stepped back.  I poked my head out of the door and said to Daniel, “I think these might actually fit.”  I stood in front of the wall sized mirror examining every inch of myself and Daniel said, “They look fabulous.”  Doubtful, I asked, “are you sure?”  “Positive,” he answered.  I thought to myself as I continued to inspect my self, “Should I trust Daniel? Or is he just going to say I look fabulous in whatever I try on?”

“Go get the black woman,” I demanded. “No way,” Daniel argued. I pleaded with Daniel and told him I could trust her and that if she said they were flattering I would get them.  We argued back and forth over the idea that Daniel should have to go to the floor to find a sales attendant and explain to her that I would not leave the dressing room unless she came and approved of the jeans.  While we were bickering the black man that was talking to the sales attendant before I asked her for help came out of a dressing room.  He was clearly listening to our conversation in his dressing room because he was chuckling to himself when we came out.  “Will you go get her?” I asked. When he said yes Daniel finally agreed to go on the errand.

After what seemed like 10 minutes later, no black woman and no Daniel. Damn.  When Daniel came back he swore he couldn’t find her. Suspicious. But he convinced me to get them.

As we walked down the stairs Daniel said, “I don’t understand why you are complaining.  Most women would kill for your body.”  “True,” I replied. “But I still have to be considerate of what looks best on my body. I can’t just pretend I am a tall, skinny white girl.”  All Daniel could say was, “Fair enough.”

Mission accomplished: I have a new pair of skinny jeans and I can’t wait to wear them!

founder’s day: where would i be without spelman?

In relationships, Uncategorized on April 11, 2011 at 10:55 am












I am ashamed to say that I don’t know the Spelman Hymn. It is absolutely shameful. And until now, the only person who knew was Tiffany. We had to memorize it during orientation before freshman year but somehow I never really did (I hummed when I got to the parts I didn’t know). When my sisters held hands and sang it at the Founder’s Day brunch I remembered why I love Spelman. Theses are my Top 10 Spelman Memories:

10: Spelbound: knowing my best friends before school started.

9: Freshman Orientation: walking under the arch, saying my name in Sister’s Chapel, Olive Branch.

8: The caf: staying in there with 10 girls from breakfast to lunch singing along to the songs in rotation.

7:  Market Friday and Beer Bashes: seeing Daria and Tiffany hanging out of their windows, screaming at everyone who walked by.

6: The Strip: eating grilled cheeses from Steagal’s never got old.

5: Party Shuttle: almost getting run over with Saida (was probably my last time on the shuttle).

4. Homecoming Freshman Year (in the parking lot, which is no longer there): drinking out of a red cup all day. I’m pretty sure I had to take a nap on Daria’s floor after and she gave me milk (out of her forbidden refrigerator).

3. The gate: seeing who is getting dropped off and picked up, sitting in the car outside of Manley with Tiffany waiting to catch a girlfriend with her secret lover.

2. Miss Maroon and White: witnessing Saida’s transformation to beauty queen.

1. Class Day: running and screaming under the arch with the same girls I came in with

Honorable Mentions:

  • Cramming into the car and singing Akinyele on stage with Tiffany our first night out after getting our keys. Where was that party? (I was wearing a neon shirt).
  • Eating birthday cake at 3 am until the sound of bb guns ended the party at Mimi and Percy’s house.
  • Escaping with Tosha Key after overhearing the word “rope” late night after Studio Central.
  • Sneaking into Karma though the back door with Nikki.
  • Wandering though the streets of New Orleans for Mardi Gras with Nikki, Liza and Rainey.
  • Going topless in Miami during Spring Break.
  • Walking to BP in Nikki’s (too big) clothes and shoes to get Gatorade after a night out with Bridget, Natalie, Tunu, Tiffany and Nikki
  • Dating a local for my last few weeks in Atlanta.












What are your favoriteSpelman/Atlanta memories?







is this weight watchers?

In health, Uncategorized on April 7, 2011 at 7:46 pm


When Daniel walked in the  cheese on the spinach lasagna rolls was bubbling in the oven. He asked what was on the menu and I told him.  And he quickly asked, “Is this regular lasagna or Weight Watchers lasagna?”  I wish someone else had seen the look of disappointment when I told him it was Weight Watchers. Well, not exactly but it is from, a blog with recipes that are all given points.

Ask me how many rolls Daniel had. 4. Yes, I said it. 4. Greedy. After he sulked. Sulked because he wasn’t eating Italian in the North End (even though he should have known better from his skinny friend).  But if you ask him what he thought of dinner I am certain that he would say he loved it.  Because it was absolutely delicious.  Let’s see if our next dinner at Daniel’s can top this!

I have to say I recommend the blog because you can feel good about your dinner and enjoy it at the same.

i quit the track

In health, Uncategorized on April 4, 2011 at 8:11 am









Once a runner, always a runner. But can one become a runner over time? I don’t know. I  have  been reading a blog written by a woman who is (among other things) a runner. She makes it look so easy. Well, maybe not easy but definitely enjoyable and most importantly – rewarding.

I have been telling myself that I should discipline myself to be a runner and my body will thank me. In my condition and tone class Allison drags us to the track once a week where she pushes us to jog, sprint, shuffle, grapevine and lunge around the track between crunches, push-ups, planks and wall sits. The problem is I hate it. Literally. I dread it the night before and it consumes my last thoughts before I go to bed.

So I quit the track. I told Allison. I refuse. She really motivates me in her other classes but I hate the track so much no one could motivate me. I rather be excited about my workout, look forward to it, enjoy it. I will challenge myself and it will ultimately be better for my body (and my dreams)

I hope Allison doesn’t call me a slacker.