my journey to be my best self

skinny jeans: good thing im a skinny bitch

In health, Uncategorized on April 25, 2011 at 2:00 am

I didn’t think the hunt for skinny jeans would ever end and I just about gave up.  I walked past the jean table while talking to my friend Daniel and said, “maybe I should try jeans.” “Why not?” answered Daniel. Well, he clearly didn’t didn’t know what he was getting himself into.

As the sales attendant turned around I thought, “Perfect. A black woman. I can tell her exactly what I learned though each step of the process and she should be able to get me one step closer to finding a flattering pair of skinny jeans for my body.” And that’s exactly what I did.  She giggled as I pointed to my waist and hips and thighs and bottom as I tried to explain how each pair I tried hugged the different parts of my body.   After an evaluation she picked out a few pairs and I went to the fitting room with 1. my trusty friend Daniel and 2. my fingers crossed.

As we waited in line I remembered when I went shopping with Laura a few weeks ago.  I literally tried on every pair of skinny jeans (1 at a time because the sales girl wouldn’t let me bring more than 1 pair in the dressing room) with absolutely no success.  Would this experience pan out any differently?

Well the size 25s didn’t fit. Damn. I yelled out of the dressing room, ” Daniel, these don’t fit.” I was already discouraged.  But I did have the 27s to try on.  “Last chance,” I said to myself.  I pulled up the jeans and buttoned them and then stepped back.  I poked my head out of the door and said to Daniel, “I think these might actually fit.”  I stood in front of the wall sized mirror examining every inch of myself and Daniel said, “They look fabulous.”  Doubtful, I asked, “are you sure?”  “Positive,” he answered.  I thought to myself as I continued to inspect my self, “Should I trust Daniel? Or is he just going to say I look fabulous in whatever I try on?”

“Go get the black woman,” I demanded. “No way,” Daniel argued. I pleaded with Daniel and told him I could trust her and that if she said they were flattering I would get them.  We argued back and forth over the idea that Daniel should have to go to the floor to find a sales attendant and explain to her that I would not leave the dressing room unless she came and approved of the jeans.  While we were bickering the black man that was talking to the sales attendant before I asked her for help came out of a dressing room.  He was clearly listening to our conversation in his dressing room because he was chuckling to himself when we came out.  “Will you go get her?” I asked. When he said yes Daniel finally agreed to go on the errand.

After what seemed like 10 minutes later, no black woman and no Daniel. Damn.  When Daniel came back he swore he couldn’t find her. Suspicious. But he convinced me to get them.

As we walked down the stairs Daniel said, “I don’t understand why you are complaining.  Most women would kill for your body.”  “True,” I replied. “But I still have to be considerate of what looks best on my body. I can’t just pretend I am a tall, skinny white girl.”  All Daniel could say was, “Fair enough.”

Mission accomplished: I have a new pair of skinny jeans and I can’t wait to wear them!

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